If you’re Team Granny Smith or Team iPhone, these apple jokes are crisp, juicy, and guaranteed to keep the laughs coming.
Get ready to bite into the funniest apple humor that’s fresh off the tree—and the App Store.
Bartender Apple Joke 🍏
- 🍎 An apple walks into a bar and the bartender says, you’re the core of all my problems
- 🍎 I told the bartender I felt rotten, he handed me a fresh apple
- 🍎 Bartender says, we don’t serve apples here. Apple replies, that’s un-peel-ievable
- 🍎 Apple orders a martini—bartender asks, shaken or stirred? Apple says, juiced
- 🍎 Bartender says, you bruise easy—apple says, only when I fall for someone
- 🍎 Bartender asks, why so sour? Apple says, Granny Smith broke my heart
- 🍎 The apple paid with a core credit—bartender gave a crisp smile
- 🍎 Apple sips its drink and mutters, too much pulp fiction in this bar
- 🍎 The bartender gave the apple a drink on the house—it was just cider manners
- 🍎 Apple says, got any happy hour? Bartender says, sure, only if you stay grounded
- 🍎 The apple flirted with the bartender—it was quite the smoothie
- 🍎 Bartender whispers, you’re the apple of my rye
- 🍎 The apple dropped a tip—bartender said, that’s fruitfully generous
Tell Me an Apple Joke 😄
- 🍏 Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice
- 🍏 What do you call an apple with attitude? A sassy Granny
- 🍏 Why don’t apples ever get lonely? Because they hang out in bunches
- 🍏 What’s an apple’s favorite movie? The Core
- 🍏 Why did the apple cross the bar? To get to the cider side
- 🍏 How do apples flirt? They give you that forbidden look
- 🍏 What’s an apple’s dream job? A core-porate position
- 🍏 What do apples do on a date? Share a slice of life
- 🍏 What’s an apple’s favorite dance? The cider shuffle
- 🍏 Why are apples good detectives? They always find the core of the issue
- 🍏 What’s an apple’s favorite instrument? The core-dion
- 🍏 Why did the apple dump the banana? It found someone a-peel-ing
- 🍏 Why did the orange blush? Because the apple was making juicey comments
- 🍏 What’s an apple’s favorite pickup line? I find you un-peel-ievably attractive
Apple Joke for Kids 🍎
- 🍎 What do you get when you cross an apple and a Christmas tree? A pineapple
- 🍎 Why did the apple sit alone at lunch? It couldn’t find its core group
- 🍎 What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood apple
- 🍎 How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down the hill
- 🍎 What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? Boo-berries! Just kidding—it’s still apples
- 🍎 What do you call an apple who’s a comedian? A pun-apple
- 🍎 What do apples read before bed? Fairy core tales
- 🍎 Why do apples never lie? Because they keep it core real
- 🍎 What do you call two apples that love math? Alge-bros
- 🍎 What’s an apple’s favorite sport? Core-skating
- 🍎 What did the apple say to the teacher? You’re the apple of my education
- 🍎 How do apples stay cool? With apple fans
- 🍎 What did the red apple say to the green apple? You’re still a-peel-ing to me
- 🍎 What’s an apple’s favorite ride? The roller-core-ster
Bar Apple Joke 🍎
- 🍏 Apple walks into a bar—bartender says, not you again
- 🍏 I saw an apple at the bar—it was the forbidden kind
- 🍏 Bartender asked the apple, cider or solo?
- 🍏 Apple says, pour me something that bites back
- 🍏 Bar’s special today: apple-tini with a twist of core
- 🍏 Bartender gave the apple a drink—it called it a ‘Core Breaker’
- 🍏 The bar had a sign—No apples allowed. That was fruitist
- 🍏 Apple whispers to the bartender, keep it low, I’m hiding from Eve
- 🍏 The bar’s full—apple rolls in anyway
- 🍏 The bar served hard cider—apple said, this is emotional support
- 🍏 Apple tips the bartender—says, keep the core
- 🍏 Bartender asks, how’s life? Apple says, full of pulp and problems
Apple Joke Turn It Around
- I told an apple a joke… and it cracked up. Guess it wasn’t that hard after all.
- Why did the apple fail school? Because it couldn’t concentrate—until the teacher turned it around.
- I dropped my apple on the floor. Now it’s a cider story.
- The apple said it was rotten. I said, “Turn it around, you’re still sweet on the inside.”
- I asked my apple what it wanted to be. It said, “Pie.” I turned it around and said, “You’re filling already.”
- An apple said it was sour. I turned it around and said, “At least you’re not grape.”
- The apple thought it was ordinary. I said, “Turn it around, you’re core to everything.”
- Why did the apple get promoted? Someone turned it around and found its hidden potential.
Apple Joke Turn It Around Funny
- My apple told me it was ugly. I turned it around and said, “You’re the apple of my eye.”
- An apple walked into a bar… turned around, and rolled right back out.
- Why don’t apples get into fights? Because they always turn it around and make cider.
- I gave my apple a compliment—it blushed red. Then it turned around and said, “Stop it, I’m pear-ing embarrassed.”
- An apple told me it was done. I turned it around, and it became juice.
- I bit into a green apple. It turned around and bit me back—sour revenge.
- Why did the apple break up? It couldn’t turn things around after the core argument.
- My apple was feeling flat. I turned it around, and now it’s sparkling cider.
Rum and Coke Apple Joke
- Why did the apple order rum and coke? To get a little buzzed before the pie.
- An apple walked into a bar and asked for rum and coke. The bartender said, “You mean Cuba Apple?”
- Why did the apple sit next to the rum? Because it wanted to be the core of attention.
- Apples and rum go well together—one gets you drunk, the other keeps the doctor away.
- What do you get when you mix rum, coke, and apple? A fruit cocktail with bad decisions.
- Why don’t apples drink beer? They prefer rum and coke—keeps their spirits high.
- I gave my apple a rum and coke—it turned into a caramel apple real fast.
- Why did the apple bartender quit? Too many bad rum-and-coke puns.
Turn It Around Apple Joke 🍏
- 🍎 Why did the apple fail the test? Then turned it around and aced the next
- 🍎 Rotten on the outside, sweet when you turn it around
- 🍎 Apple hit rock bottom—turned it around and grew on a tree again
- 🍎 Sad apple turned it around and joined a fruit salad party
- 🍎 Apple flunked in baking school—turned it around and opened a juice bar
- 🍎 Life’s tough, said the apple—but I turned it around and found my core
- 🍎 Turn it around—every core has a purpose
- 🍎 You’re just a seed away from greatness—turn it around
Conclusion
If you’re cracking jokes at the bar, entertaining kids, or just love a good pun, these apple jokes prove humor can be as crisp as a Granny Smith.
From bartender banter to turn-it-around inspiration, apples aren’t just for eating—they’re for laughing too.
Share these lines, make someone smile, and remember—when life gives you apples, make jokes!
