Get ready to mark your days with groans and giggles! 📅890+ Dad Joke Calendar is your year-round supply of eye-roll-worthy humor and wholesome punchlines that never get old.
From January’s pun-filled beginnings to December’s holiday zingers, this collection brings you the corniest, funniest, and most sharable dad jokes of 2025.
Perfect for starting your mornings with a smile, spicing up meetings, or becoming the family’s undisputed joke master — one day at a time!
2025 Dad Joke Calendar
- 😆 Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up
- 🤓 I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y
- 🦴 I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down
- 🍽️ Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere
- 🦖 Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field
- 📚 Want to hear a construction joke?
- 🥚 How do chickens stay in shape? Egg-cercise
- 🧀 What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese
- 🐟 Why don’t fish do well in school? They’re always swimming below “sea” level
- 🐝 What’s a bee’s favorite haircut? A buzz cut
- 🧊 I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me
- 🧹 Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts
Calendar Dad Jokes
- 😂 Why did the calendar apply for a job? It wanted to make every day count.
- 🤣 Why did February break up with March?
- 🙈 I don’t trust calendars… their days are numbered.
- 😂 What’s a calendar’s favorite food? Dates.
- 📅 Why was the calendar always stressed? Too many appointments.
- 😂 Why did the calendar get promoted?
Calendar Jokes for Adults
- 😂 My calendar and I have a complicated relationship… we’re not on the same day.
- 📅 Why did the calendar get therapy? Too much past trauma and future anxiety.
- 🤣 I bought a calendar of yoga poses… it’s got me stretched out for the year.
- 🙈 My 2025 calendar is already outdated… time flies too fast.
- 😂 Why don’t calendars argue? They just let things slide by day after day.
- 🤣 Bought a blank calendar—best investment, zero commitments.
Dad Jokes About Calendars
- 😂 Why did the dad keep the old calendar? He didn’t want to lose track of time.
- 📅 I told my dad a calendar joke… now he’s dated.
- 🙈 Why was the dad excited about his calendar gift? He thought it was timeless.
- 😂 My dad stares at the calendar… he says it’s his day planner.
- 📅 Dad says calendars are like jokes… timing is everything.
- 🤣 Dad got a calendar tattoo… now he’s permanently booked.
- 😂 Why did Dad sleep with his calendar? To wake up to a new date.
Dad Joke of the Day
- 😂 Today’s joke: Why did the calendar cross the road? To get to the other date.
- 📅 Joke of the day: Calendars are good listeners… they always mark the occasion.
- 🤣 Joke of the day: My calendar quit on me… it said it was too busy.
- 🙈 Joke of the day: February can be tricky… it’s a little short-tempered.
- 😂 Joke of the day: My calendar got fired… it couldn’t keep up with the times.
- 📅 Joke of the day: Never trust a calendar—it has shady dates.
- 🤣 Joke of the day: My calendar told me to relax… it’s just a phase.
- 😂 Joke of the day: What did the calendar say to the clock? “Your time is ticking, mine’s just days.”
Daily Dad Joke Calendar
- ☀️ Every morning I bring my coffee to work—because it’s the daily grind
- 🐍 Why did the snake get promoted? He was hiss-terical
- 🐾 My dog loves classic rock. His favorite band is the Beagles
- 🛠️ I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless
- 🍩 What’s a baker’s favorite joke? One that’s sprinkled with laughs
- 🌽 I told a joke about corn—it was a-maize-ing
- 🦷 Why did the dentist become a comedian? He had the right bite
- 🌲 What’s a tree’s favorite drink? Root beer
- 🥜 What do you call a nut with a joke? A crack-up
- 🧽 I told my sponge a joke. It soaked it all in
- 📏 I made a ruler laugh. It had great measure
- 🧃 Why did the juice box go to therapy? It couldn’t contain itself
Bad Dad Joke Calendar
- 🐸 What do frogs wear on their feet? Open-toad sandals
- 🔧 I told my wrench a joke—it was a twist
- 🧀 How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese
- 🥬 What do you call a fake salad? A counter-feit
- 🧢 I bought a hat with a joke label—it was cap-tivating
- 🐌 I raced a snail. It shell-shocked me
- 🍕 What’s a pizza’s favorite joke? Anything with a slice of humor
- 🐘 I told a joke at the zoo. The elephant remembered
- 🐇 Why don’t rabbits tell jokes? They carrot all
- 🧊 I was chilling with my freezer. We broke the ice
- 🐾 My cat told me a joke. It was hiss-terical
- 🕶️ Why did the sunglasses get grounded? Too shady
Conclusion
A dad joke calendar is more than a novelty—it’s a daily invitation to smile. From the classic cringe.
Willow Creek Press gems, these jokes serve up laughs that brighten your entire year. If for yourself or a gift, it’s the perfect way to stay punny in 2025.
