Ready to squeeze out some serious laughs? If you’re a pun lover, a foodie, or just here for the saucy humor, this ultimate collection of 786+ ketchup jokes is dripping with flavor and fun!
From tomato puns to Heinz-level hilarity, these jokes are perfect for texting, tweeting, or spicing up any dull moment.
Warning: some are so funny, you might just squirt with laughter. Let’s ketchup on the best jokes the internet has to offer!
Let’s dive in!
Tomato Ketchup Joke
- 🍅 Are you ketchup? Because I’ve been chasing you all over this hotdog of a life
- 🍅 You must be tomato ketchup, ’cause you add flavor to my bland existence
- 🍅 Without you, I’m just a dry fry—where’s my dip, baby?
- 🍅 If love were ketchup, I’d squeeze every drop just for you
- 🍅 You’re like Heinz—worth the wait
- 🍅 Is your name Ketchup? Because I’ve been trying to catch up to you all day
- 🍅 You got me blushing like a tomato on a summer day
- 🍅 You must be 57 varieties of fine
- 🍅 Even if you stain my shirt, I’d still love you
- 🍅 Your love hits harder than a ketchup bottle bottom
- 🍅 Are we on a burger? Because we’re better with ketchup and each other
- 🍅 If I were a french fry, you’d be my soulmate dip
- 🍅 You bring the sauce and I bring the spice—perfect combo
- 🍅 I must be ketchup because I’m totally stuck on you
- 🍅 You ketchup to my heart like no one else
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Ketchup Joke Catch Up
- ⏩ Girl, are you ketchup? ‘Cause I’ve been trying to catch up to your heart
- ⏩ Let’s ketchup—over coffee, fries, and forever
- ⏩ I didn’t forget you, I was just trying to ketchup on life
- ⏩ If we were condiments, I’d be chasing you down the aisle
- ⏩ I’ve been playing hide and seek, but I can’t ketchup without you
- ⏩ They said I’d never ketchup with you, but here we are
- ⏩ Wanna ketchup on love and make up for lost time?
- ⏩ I’m not slow, I’m just savoring the chase
- ⏩ You’re the ketchup to my rushed day—worth slowing down for
- ⏩ I tried to move on, but no one’s got your flavor
- ⏩ This time, I’ll ketchup before it’s too late
- ⏩ You ketchup more than feelings—you steal hearts
- ⏩ Life’s a mess, let’s ketchup together
- ⏩ Missing you? I’m just trying to ketchup emotionally
- ⏩ Let’s ketchup like old times—with extra fries
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Mustard Ketchup Joke
- 🌭 Are you mustard? Because together we’re the ultimate couple combo
- 🌭 You must be yellow mustard, cause you brighten up my ketchup life
- 🌭 If ketchup’s smooth, you’re the spice
- 🌭 Mustard and ketchup—like you and me, different but perfect
- 🌭 We might fight like condiments, but we belong on the same bun
- 🌭 I never thought I needed mustard until I met you
- 🌭 Ketchup without mustard is like me without you—lonely
- 🌭 Let’s squeeze out the best of life together
- 🌭 Even when you’re tangy, I can’t get enough
- 🌭 Baby, you’re the mustard to my burger dreams
- 🌭 I bring the sweet, you bring the heat
- 🌭 Together we’re saucy perfection
- 🌭 Just like mustard and ketchup, we balance each other
- 🌭 Don’t worry if you’re bold—I like my condiments loud
- 🌭 Ketchup’s great, but mustard like you? One of a kind
The Ketchup Joke Cartoon
- 🎨 Are you a ketchup cartoon? Because you’ve got animated charm
- 🎨 Your smile’s more iconic than a ketchup squeeze in a comic strip
- 🎨 You draw me in like a ketchup character
- 🎨 Let’s ketchup in 2D and fall in love in 3D
- 🎨 Your love’s messier than a cartoon ketchup fight
- 🎨 I’m stuck on you like ketchup on a cartoon ceiling
- 🎨 You’re giving Looney Toons but make it spicy
- 🎨 Ketchup has never looked this cute in sketches
- 🎨 I’d frame our ketchup love in a storyboard
- 🎨 Even your stick-figure charm wins hearts
- 🎨 Let’s ketchup like Saturday morning cartoons
- 🎨 You must be hand-drawn because you’re picture-perfect
- 🎨 This ketchup joke should be animated—it’s that good
- 🎨 You and ketchup? Art in motion
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Joke You Better Ketchup
- 😂 You better ketchup, or you’ll be left behind in the picnic race.
- 🌭 Don’t worry if you’re late to the BBQ—just ketchup with the crowd.
- 😆 The hotdog told the bun, “Ketchup, you’re falling apart!”
- 🍟 French fries said to ketchup, “Hurry up, ketchup, or I’ll dip without you.”
- 😂 You better ketchup, mustard is way ahead of you.
- 🥪 Sandwich races are unfair—ketchup always lags behind.
- 😅 You better ketchup, relish is already chilling.
- 🌭 Ketchup said to tomato, “You better ketchup, we’re late to the squeeze.”
Funny Ketchup and Mustard Jokes
- 😂 Why did mustard and ketchup break up? Too much pressure in the squeeze.
- 🍟 Ketchup said to mustard, “You’re so yellow, but I still love you.”
- 🤣 Why did ketchup blush? Because it saw mustard dressing.
- 🌭 What’s ketchup’s favorite joke? Mustard’s timing.
- 😂 Why did the mustard beat ketchup in a race? Because ketchup couldn’t ketchup.
- 🥪 Mustard said, “I’m hot,” and ketchup replied, “You’re just trying to relish this moment.”
- 😂 Why don’t ketchup and mustard fight? They always squash it.
- 🌭 What did the burger say? “Without ketchup and mustard, life is the wurst.”
Earthquake Ketchup Joke
- 😂 Why was ketchup scared during the earthquake? It was afraid of being shaken, not stirred.
- 🌭 When the earthquake hit, ketchup screamed, “Stop shaking my bottle!”
- 🍟 Why do earthquakes make ketchup nervous? Because it hates sudden squeezes.
- 🤣 Earthquake hits, and ketchup spills everywhere — talk about a shaky situation.
- 🌍 Ketchup said, “That’s not a shake I like!” during the earthquake.
- 😅 Earthquakes make ketchup feel like it’s on a rollercoaster.
- 🍅 Why don’t ketchup bottles like earthquakes? They’re already under too much pressure.
- 😂 Earthquake + ketchup = messy disaster relief.
Period Jokes Ketchup
- 😂 Why is ketchup like a period? It always shows up late and makes a mess.
- 😅 Periods are like ketchup bottles—you shake, squeeze, and cry when nothing comes out.
- 🍟 Ketchup stains look like practice rounds for periods.
- 🤣 Why don’t women like ketchup jokes? Because the timing is always off.
- 🌭 Periods and ketchup both ruin white pants.
- 😂 Ketchup bottle: “Oops, I came out too fast.” Period: “Same.”
- 😅 Why is ketchup like PMS? It comes with pressure and stains everything.
- 🍅 Ketchup packets and periods: both burst unexpectedly at the worst times.
Pulp Fiction Ketchup Joke Scene
- 🎥 Is this a Tarantino flick? ‘Cause I feel a ketchup plot twist coming
- 🎥 That ketchup scene? Only thing missing was us
- 🎥 Let’s reenact Pulp Fiction, but I’ll be the ketchup spilling over with love
- 🎥 I’d ketchup with you even in slow-mo gunfire
- 🎥 Our romance? Tarantino would call it a masterpiece
- 🎥 You and me? Better than any diner monologue
- 🎥 I don’t need a Royale with Cheese—just ketchup and you
- 🎥 This ketchup joke has cult-classic potential
- 🎥 Our love has more flavor than Jules’ final speech
- 🎥 You must be a briefcase, ’cause you glow when ketchup’s around
- 🎥 Ketchup never looked this good since Vincent spilled it
- 🎥 Let’s ketchup like it’s the 90s—vinyl, red sauce, and all
- 🎥 If life’s a movie, you’re the ketchup I never skip
- 🎥 Tarantino might script violence, but I script saucy love
- 🎥 Every frame with you is ketchup-dripping perfect
Heinz Ketchup Puns
- You and I make the perfect combo — like fries and Heinz.
- I’m just trying to ketchup with life.
- Heinz down, this is the best sauce ever.
- Let’s ketchup soon — I’ve missed our chats.
- Love is like ketchup… it goes with everything.
- Heinz-sight is always 20/20.
- You’re the Heinz-spiration I need.
- Don’t bottle up your feelings — ketchup and share them.
Ketchup Dad Jokes
- Why did the ketchup blush? Because it saw the fries getting dipped.
- What did the french fry say to the ketchup? “Catch up, you’re too slow!”
- Why don’t bottles of ketchup ever argue? They always keep their cool under pressure.
- What’s a bottle of ketchup’s favorite exercise? The squeeze press.
- Why did the ketchup fail school? It couldn’t concentrate.
- How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste… and a little ketchup on the side.
- Why was the ketchup bottle always late? Because it couldn’t ketchup in time.
- What did one ketchup packet say to the other? “Let’s stick together.”
Best Jokes About Ketchup
- Why did the hamburger go to the gym? To ketchup with the hot dog.
- Ketchup is like WiFi — everything’s better when it’s connected.
- I asked the ketchup for advice… but it bottled everything up.
- What’s ketchup’s favorite movie? “Fifty Shades of Red.”
- Why did the ketchup go to art school? To learn how to draw blood.
- You can’t trust ketchup at poker… it always squirts under pressure.
- Ketchup is my spirit condiment — always laid back but ready to pour its heart out.
- Why did the ketchup bring a ladder? To reach new heights of flavor.
Dirty Ketchup Joke
- 😈 I like my jokes like my fries—extra saucy with ketchup on top
- 😈 Baby, let’s make a mess like ketchup and regrets
- 😈 You’re the only one I’d spill my ketchup for in bed
- 😈 Want to squeeze the bottle or should I?
- 😈 This ketchup joke? Rated R for ridiculous romance
- 😈 You make my heart squirt like an overfilled ketchup pack
- 😈 Things between us are getting sticky—and I like it
- 😈 I want to spread you like ketchup on a midnight burger
- 😈 That wasn’t a ketchup stain, it was a love splash
- 😈 You bring the buns, I’ll bring the ketchup
- 😈 Even ketchup packets are jealous of how saucy we are
- 😈 Your touch? Hotter than ketchup left in a car
- 😈 Let’s get spicy—hold the napkins
- 😈 I want to drizzle my love like ketchup on everything
- 😈 Ketchup’s red, passion’s hot, let’s see what this love’s got
Conclusion
If you’re a ketchup fanatic, a pun lover, or just someone who enjoys flavorful humor, these pick-up line-style ketchup jokes bring the perfect blend of spice and sass.
From Pulp Fiction references to cartoon fun and even a little mustard competition, there’s a ketchup joke for every taste.
So next time you’re feeling saucy, drop one of these lines and watch the smiles squeeze out.
I’m the author of Jokesattack.com, where humor meets creativity! Bringing you nonstop laughter with the best jokes, memes, and funny moments every day.
