Ready to squeeze out some serious laughs? If you’re a pun lover, a foodie, or just here for the saucy humor, this ultimate collection of 786+ ketchup jokes is dripping with flavor and fun!
From tomato puns to Heinz-level hilarity, these jokes are perfect for texting, tweeting, or spicing up any dull moment.
Warning: some are so funny, you might just squirt with laughter. Let’s ketchup on the best jokes the internet has to offer!
Tomato Ketchup Joke
- 🍅 Are you ketchup? Because I’ve been chasing you all over this hotdog of a life
- 🍅 You must be tomato ketchup, ’cause you add flavor to my bland existence
- 🍅 Without you, I’m just a dry fry—where’s my dip, baby?
- 🍅 If love were ketchup, I’d squeeze every drop just for you
- 🍅 You’re like Heinz—worth the wait
- 🍅 Is your name Ketchup? Because I’ve been trying to catch up to you all day
- 🍅 You got me blushing like a tomato on a summer day
- 🍅 You must be 57 varieties of fine
- 🍅 Even if you stain my shirt, I’d still love you
- 🍅 Your love hits harder than a ketchup bottle bottom
- 🍅 Are we on a burger? Because we’re better with ketchup and each other
- 🍅 If I were a french fry, you’d be my soulmate dip
- 🍅 You bring the sauce and I bring the spice—perfect combo
- 🍅 I must be ketchup because I’m totally stuck on you
- 🍅 You ketchup to my heart like no one else
Ketchup Joke Catch Up
- ⏩ Girl, are you ketchup? ‘Cause I’ve been trying to catch up to your heart
- ⏩ Let’s ketchup—over coffee, fries, and forever
- ⏩ I didn’t forget you, I was just trying to ketchup on life
- ⏩ If we were condiments, I’d be chasing you down the aisle
- ⏩ I’ve been playing hide and seek, but I can’t ketchup without you
- ⏩ They said I’d never ketchup with you, but here we are
- ⏩ Wanna ketchup on love and make up for lost time?
- ⏩ I’m not slow, I’m just savoring the chase
- ⏩ You’re the ketchup to my rushed day—worth slowing down for
- ⏩ I tried to move on, but no one’s got your flavor
- ⏩ This time, I’ll ketchup before it’s too late
- ⏩ You ketchup more than feelings—you steal hearts
- ⏩ Life’s a mess, let’s ketchup together
- ⏩ Missing you? I’m just trying to ketchup emotionally
- ⏩ Let’s ketchup like old times—with extra fries
Mustard Ketchup Joke
- 🌭 Are you mustard? Because together we’re the ultimate couple combo
- 🌭 You must be yellow mustard, cause you brighten up my ketchup life
- 🌭 If ketchup’s smooth, you’re the spice
- 🌭 Mustard and ketchup—like you and me, different but perfect
- 🌭 We might fight like condiments, but we belong on the same bun
- 🌭 I never thought I needed mustard until I met you
- 🌭 Ketchup without mustard is like me without you—lonely
- 🌭 Let’s squeeze out the best of life together
- 🌭 Even when you’re tangy, I can’t get enough
- 🌭 Baby, you’re the mustard to my burger dreams
- 🌭 I bring the sweet, you bring the heat
- 🌭 Together we’re saucy perfection
- 🌭 Just like mustard and ketchup, we balance each other
- 🌭 Don’t worry if you’re bold—I like my condiments loud
- 🌭 Ketchup’s great, but mustard like you? One of a kind
The Ketchup Joke Cartoon
- 🎨 Are you a ketchup cartoon? Because you’ve got animated charm
- 🎨 Your smile’s more iconic than a ketchup squeeze in a comic strip
- 🎨 You draw me in like a ketchup character
- 🎨 Let’s ketchup in 2D and fall in love in 3D
- 🎨 Your love’s messier than a cartoon ketchup fight
- 🎨 I’m stuck on you like ketchup on a cartoon ceiling
- 🎨 You’re giving Looney Toons but make it spicy
- 🎨 Ketchup has never looked this cute in sketches
- 🎨 I’d frame our ketchup love in a storyboard
- 🎨 Even your stick-figure charm wins hearts
- 🎨 Let’s ketchup like Saturday morning cartoons
- 🎨 You must be hand-drawn because you’re picture-perfect
- 🎨 This ketchup joke should be animated—it’s that good
- 🎨 You and ketchup? Art in motion
Joke You Better Ketchup
- 😂 You better ketchup, or you’ll be left behind in the picnic race.
- 🌭 Don’t worry if you’re late to the BBQ—just ketchup with the crowd.
- 😆 The hotdog told the bun, “Ketchup, you’re falling apart!”
- 🍟 French fries said to ketchup, “Hurry up, ketchup, or I’ll dip without you.”
- 😂 You better ketchup, mustard is way ahead of you.
- 🥪 Sandwich races are unfair—ketchup always lags behind.
- 😅 You better ketchup, relish is already chilling.
- 🌭 Ketchup said to tomato, “You better ketchup, we’re late to the squeeze.”
Funny Ketchup and Mustard Jokes
- 😂 Why did mustard and ketchup break up? Too much pressure in the squeeze.
- 🍟 Ketchup said to mustard, “You’re so yellow, but I still love you.”
- 🤣 Why did ketchup blush? Because it saw mustard dressing.
- 🌭 What’s ketchup’s favorite joke? Mustard’s timing.
- 😂 Why did the mustard beat ketchup in a race? Because ketchup couldn’t ketchup.
- 🥪 Mustard said, “I’m hot,” and ketchup replied, “You’re just trying to relish this moment.”
- 😂 Why don’t ketchup and mustard fight? They always squash it.
- 🌭 What did the burger say? “Without ketchup and mustard, life is the wurst.”
Earthquake Ketchup Joke
- 😂 Why was ketchup scared during the earthquake? It was afraid of being shaken, not stirred.
- 🌭 When the earthquake hit, ketchup screamed, “Stop shaking my bottle!”
- 🍟 Why do earthquakes make ketchup nervous? Because it hates sudden squeezes.
- 🤣 Earthquake hits, and ketchup spills everywhere — talk about a shaky situation.
- 🌍 Ketchup said, “That’s not a shake I like!” during the earthquake.
- 😅 Earthquakes make ketchup feel like it’s on a rollercoaster.
- 🍅 Why don’t ketchup bottles like earthquakes? They’re already under too much pressure.
- 😂 Earthquake + ketchup = messy disaster relief.
Period Jokes Ketchup
- 😂 Why is ketchup like a period? It always shows up late and makes a mess.
- 😅 Periods are like ketchup bottles—you shake, squeeze, and cry when nothing comes out.
- 🍟 Ketchup stains look like practice rounds for periods.
- 🤣 Why don’t women like ketchup jokes? Because the timing is always off.
- 🌭 Periods and ketchup both ruin white pants.
- 😂 Ketchup bottle: “Oops, I came out too fast.” Period: “Same.”
- 😅 Why is ketchup like PMS? It comes with pressure and stains everything.
- 🍅 Ketchup packets and periods: both burst unexpectedly at the worst times.
Pulp Fiction Ketchup Joke Scene
- 🎥 Is this a Tarantino flick? ‘Cause I feel a ketchup plot twist coming
- 🎥 That ketchup scene? Only thing missing was us
- 🎥 Let’s reenact Pulp Fiction, but I’ll be the ketchup spilling over with love
- 🎥 I’d ketchup with you even in slow-mo gunfire
- 🎥 Our romance? Tarantino would call it a masterpiece
- 🎥 You and me? Better than any diner monologue
- 🎥 I don’t need a Royale with Cheese—just ketchup and you
- 🎥 This ketchup joke has cult-classic potential
- 🎥 Our love has more flavor than Jules’ final speech
- 🎥 You must be a briefcase, ’cause you glow when ketchup’s around
- 🎥 Ketchup never looked this good since Vincent spilled it
- 🎥 Let’s ketchup like it’s the 90s—vinyl, red sauce, and all
- 🎥 If life’s a movie, you’re the ketchup I never skip
- 🎥 Tarantino might script violence, but I script saucy love
- 🎥 Every frame with you is ketchup-dripping perfect
Heinz Ketchup Puns
- You and I make the perfect combo — like fries and Heinz.
- I’m just trying to ketchup with life.
- Heinz down, this is the best sauce ever.
- Let’s ketchup soon — I’ve missed our chats.
- Love is like ketchup… it goes with everything.
- Heinz-sight is always 20/20.
- You’re the Heinz-spiration I need.
- Don’t bottle up your feelings — ketchup and share them.
Ketchup Dad Jokes
- Why did the ketchup blush? Because it saw the fries getting dipped.
- What did the french fry say to the ketchup? “Catch up, you’re too slow!”
- Why don’t bottles of ketchup ever argue? They always keep their cool under pressure.
- What’s a bottle of ketchup’s favorite exercise? The squeeze press.
- Why did the ketchup fail school? It couldn’t concentrate.
- How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste… and a little ketchup on the side.
- Why was the ketchup bottle always late? Because it couldn’t ketchup in time.
- What did one ketchup packet say to the other? “Let’s stick together.”
Best Jokes About Ketchup
- Why did the hamburger go to the gym? To ketchup with the hot dog.
- Ketchup is like WiFi — everything’s better when it’s connected.
- I asked the ketchup for advice… but it bottled everything up.
- What’s ketchup’s favorite movie? “Fifty Shades of Red.”
- Why did the ketchup go to art school? To learn how to draw blood.
- You can’t trust ketchup at poker… it always squirts under pressure.
- Ketchup is my spirit condiment — always laid back but ready to pour its heart out.
- Why did the ketchup bring a ladder? To reach new heights of flavor.
Dirty Ketchup Joke
- 😈 I like my jokes like my fries—extra saucy with ketchup on top
- 😈 Baby, let’s make a mess like ketchup and regrets
- 😈 You’re the only one I’d spill my ketchup for in bed
- 😈 Want to squeeze the bottle or should I?
- 😈 This ketchup joke? Rated R for ridiculous romance
- 😈 You make my heart squirt like an overfilled ketchup pack
- 😈 Things between us are getting sticky—and I like it
- 😈 I want to spread you like ketchup on a midnight burger
- 😈 That wasn’t a ketchup stain, it was a love splash
- 😈 You bring the buns, I’ll bring the ketchup
- 😈 Even ketchup packets are jealous of how saucy we are
- 😈 Your touch? Hotter than ketchup left in a car
- 😈 Let’s get spicy—hold the napkins
- 😈 I want to drizzle my love like ketchup on everything
- 😈 Ketchup’s red, passion’s hot, let’s see what this love’s got
Conclusion
If you’re a ketchup fanatic, a pun lover, or just someone who enjoys flavorful humor, these pick-up line-style ketchup jokes bring the perfect blend of spice and sass.
From Pulp Fiction references to cartoon fun and even a little mustard competition, there’s a ketchup joke for every taste.
So next time you’re feeling saucy, drop one of these lines and watch the smiles squeeze out.
