If your little monsters are dressed as ghosts, witches, or superheroes, these 486+ kids Halloween jokes are the perfect treat—no tricks here!
From pumpkin puns to skeleton silliness, we’ve packed this collection with laugh-out-loud jokes that are silly, safe, and totally scream-worthy.
Perfect for lunchbox notes, trick-or-treat fun, or classroom laughs—these gags will have kids howling with laughter all Halloween season long!
👻 Easy Kids Halloween Joke
- 🧙 Why didn’t the skeleton go to school? His heart wasn’t in it
- 🎃 What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream
- 👽 Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation
- 👻 How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch
- 🧛 What’s a mummy’s favorite type of music? Wrap
- 🦇 Why don’t ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits
- 🧟 Why was the jack-o’-lantern so good at school? He was bright
- 🕷️ What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite
- 👻 Why did the ghost go to the party? He heard it was going to be a boo-last
- 🧙 What room do ghosts avoid? The living room
- 🎃 Why did the skeleton stay calm? Nothing got under his skin
- 🕸️ Why did the mummy call the doctor? He was all wrapped up
- 🧛 Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts
- 🦇 What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling
- 👻 What kind of pants do ghosts wear? Boo-jeans
😂 Funny Kids Halloween Joke
- 🎃 What kind of key opens a haunted house? A spoo-key
- 🧙 Why did the vampire flunk art class? He could only draw blood
- 👻 What do you call a ghost that loves to shop? A bargain haunter
- 🧛 Why are graveyards noisy? Because of all the coffin
- 🦇 Why did Dracula take cold medicine? Because he was coffin too much
- 🧟 Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny
- 🕷️ How do you make a witch itch? Take away her W
- 🎃 What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper
- 👻 Why was the ghost such a bad liar? You could see right through him
- 🧛 What’s a ghost’s least favorite room? The living room
- 🧙 What do you call two witches sharing an apartment? Broommates
- 🕸️ Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop
- 🧟 What does a zombie eat at a party? Brain food
- 🎃 Why don’t ghosts ever tell lies? Because they’re too transparent
- 👻 What game do baby ghosts like to play? Peek-a-BOO
🗣️ Tell Us a Kids Halloween Joke
- 🎃 Why did the ghost get in trouble at school? He was caught boo-lying
- 👻 Why do witches always ride brooms? Vacuum cleaners are too heavy
- 🧛 What’s Dracula’s favorite fruit? A blood orange
- 🧟 How do mummies keep in touch? They use crypt-ic messages
- 🦇 Why did the zombie become a chef? He wanted to serve brains
- 🧙 What kind of makeup do witches wear? Mas-scare-a
- 👻 What is a ghost’s favorite ride at the amusement park? The roller-ghoster
- 🕷️ Why did the skeleton go to the dance? He heard it would be hip
- 🎃 What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A steak
- 🧟 Why was the mummy so tense? He was under wraps
- 🧛 What do you call a vampire at the beach? A sand-sucker
- 🧙 How do you know a witch is good at school? She always spells everything right
- 🕸️ Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos
- 👻 Why did the vampire become an actor? He always wanted to be in fang-tasy movies
- 🎃 Why was the pumpkin embarrassed? It saw the salad dressing
🏆 Best Kids Halloween Joke
- 🎃 Why don’t skeletons ever get mad? Nothing gets under their skin
- 🧛 Why was the vampire always at school? He wanted to improve his bite
- 👻 Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll unwind
- 🧙 What do witches ask for at hotels? Broom service
- 🧟 What’s a zombie’s favorite bean? A human bean
- 🦇 Why did the bat get bad grades? He was always hanging around
- 🕷️ What do you call a spider that works in IT? A web developer
- 🎃 What do you get if you divide a pumpkin’s circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi
- 👻 Why did the ghost go to school? To learn how to be a better spook
- 🧛 What’s a vampire’s favorite sport? Bat-minton
- 🧟 Why did the zombie join the band? He had great rhythm
- 🧙 What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch
- 🕸️ What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone
- 👻 Why do ghosts like to eat candy? Because it’s super boo-licious
- 🎃 What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre? Anything with a little pulp
🗓️ Kids Halloween Joke of the Day
- 🎃 What’s a ghost’s favorite cereal? Boo-berry
- 👻 What do you call a ghost dog? A labra-boo-dor
- 🧛 Why did the vampire get detention? He was caught biting
- 🧙 What kind of horse does a witch ride? A nightmare
- 🧟 Why don’t mummies go out on blind dates? They hate being unwrapped
- 🕷️ How do spiders communicate? Through the web
- 🎃 What’s a ghost’s favorite color? Boo
- 👻 Why was the skeleton always so calm? Because nothing rattled him
- 🧛 What’s a vampire’s least favorite food? Garlic bread
- 🧟 How do zombies pay for things? With crypt-o-currency
- 🧙 Why do witches wear name tags? So you can spell their names
- 🕸️ What does a ghost bring to a picnic? Boo-nanas
- 👻 Why did the ghost go to therapy? He had too many hauntings
- 🎃 What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound
- 🧛 What’s Dracula’s favorite ice cream? Vein-illa
🎉 Conclusion
Halloween isn’t just about candy and costumes — it’s about laughter too! These kid-friendly jokes are the perfect way to add humor to the spooky season.
If you’re sharing them at a party, in the classroom, or just with family, these Halloween jokes will keep kids entertained and smiling.
Keep this list handy for daily giggles or to break the ice at your next ghostly gathering. Happy Haunting!
