Looking to bring home the bacon in laughs? If you’re a farm fan, animal pun lover, or just in the mood to squeal with joy, you’re in the right pen!
This massive list of 986+ pig jokes is stuffed like a sausage with oinks, puns, and hilarious hogwash.
From curly tails to snort-worthy punchlines, get ready to pig out on the funniest swine humor the internet has to offer. Let’s roll in the comedy mud—no pig left behind!
Guinea Pig Joke
- 🐹 Are you a guinea pig? Because I squeak every time I see you
- 🐹 You must be my favorite snack, because I’d nibble on you all day
- 🐹 Are you made of hay? Because I just want to burrow into your heart
- 🐹 You make my heart do little guinea flips
- 🐹 I’m not saying you’re cute… but my guinea pig is jealous
- 🐹 You’re the wheel to my cage—round and round my thoughts go
- 🐹 Can I cuddle you like I cuddle my guinea pig? Constantly
- 🐹 If I had a carrot for every time I thought of you, I’d be as happy as a guinea pig
- 🐹 You’re the fluffiest thing I’ve seen today—and I own a guinea pig
- 🐹 You squeaked into my heart like a guinea pig in love
- 🐹 Wanna come over and watch my guinea pig? We could cuddle too
- 🐹 You look like the kind of human a guinea pig would approve of
- 🐹 You’re my guinea pick
- 🐹 Our love is as real as my guinea pig’s snack obsession
- 🐹 I don’t need a guinea pig to feel fuzzy inside—you do that just fine
One Legged Pig Joke
- 🐖 Are you the one-legged pig I’ve heard about? Because you’re legendary
- 🐖 Even with one leg, you stand out in a herd
- 🐖 You’re like a one-legged pig—too special to be bacon
- 🐖 They say legends walk with one leg, and there you go walking into my life
- 🐖 Just like that pig, I’d save you from a fire… multiple times
- 🐖 Are you the hero of every farm story? Because I’ve heard tales
- 🐖 You’re rare—like a pig with just one heroic leg
- 🐖 Even if you had one leg, I’d still fall head over heels
- 🐖 You’re the reason pigs are called “incredible”
- 🐖 Can I call you “Hambo”? Because you’ve rescued my heart
- 🐖 Like the one-legged pig, you’ve survived everything—especially my flirting
- 🐖 You’re the reason pigs get wooden legs in fables
- 🐖 I’d build you a wooden leg just to keep you in my story
- 🐖 I heard about a one-legged pig… then I met you and understood why legends exist
- 🐖 You’re ham-bitious and unforgettable
Tell Me a Guinea Pig Joke
- 🐹 What do guinea pigs use to text? Insta-ham
- 🐹 Why did the guinea pig cross the road? To squeak at their crush
- 🐹 What’s a guinea pig’s favorite pick-up line? Wanna squeak later?
- 🐹 Guinea pigs don’t ghost—they burrow deeper into your heart
- 🐹 I’m not a guinea pig, but I’d still eat carrots for you
- 🐹 Why did the guinea pig blush? Someone mentioned how cute they were
- 🐹 Squeak up—I think I love you
- 🐹 Ever seen a guinea pig flirt? It’s adorable… like me
- 🐹 Want to spin on my wheel of affection?
- 🐹 Hay you, looking good
- 🐹 I guinea be honest, you’re stunning
- 🐹 Wheek! That’s guinea pig for “you’re hot”
- 🐹 Don’t make me wheek for your love
- 🐹 You must be hay-some
- 🐹 My heart races faster than a guinea pig on clean bedding
Pig Joke with a Wooden Leg
- 🐷 You must be that pig with a wooden leg—because everyone keeps talking about how unforgettable you are
- 🐷 I’d give you a wooden leg too if it meant you’d stay forever
- 🐷 A hero like you needs a wooden pedestal, not just a leg
- 🐷 Your charm is handcrafted—like that wooden leg
- 🐷 Even with a wooden leg, you still sweep me off mine
- 🐷 You must’ve saved your family from a fire too—because you’re blazing hot
- 🐷 I heard a tale of a pig so special… now I’ve met you
- 🐷 You deserve a golden leg, not just a wooden one
- 🐷 Are you walking funny or is my heart just doing flips?
- 🐷 That leg may be wood, but your love is real
- 🐷 You’re solid, dependable, and built to last
- 🐷 Can I be the polish to your wooden leg?
- 🐷 Heroes have wooden legs and soft hearts—like you
- 🐷 If I carve a wooden heart, would you take it?
- 🐷 You stand strong—even with one leg. Impressive
Funny Pig Joke
- 🐷 Why don’t pigs do stand-up? Because they hog the mic
- 🐷 You must be a pig, because I’m bacon for you
- 🐷 Are you oinking or flirting? Either way, I’m sold
- 🐷 Pigs might fly, but my heart already did
- 🐷 You’re the ham in my sandwich of life
- 🐷 Stop hogging my thoughts
- 🐷 Did it hurt when you fell into the mud? Still look cute though
- 🐷 You had me at snort
- 🐷 I’m not blushing—that’s just bacon grease
- 🐷 You must be made of truffles, because you’re rare and valuable
- 🐷 Piggy back ride into your heart?
- 🐷 Wanna roll in the hay or the mud? I’m flexible
- 🐷 Are you a pig? Because I squeal inside when I see you
- 🐷 Let’s make a sty together
- 🐷 Your charm is pork-fect
Tell Me a Pig Joke
- 🐷 Why don’t pigs use phones? They hate porking it up
- 🐷 What’s a pig’s favorite movie? Hamlet
- 🐷 Why was the pig an actor? He was a real ham
- 🐷 How do pigs write love letters? With oink
- 🐷 Why did the pig fall in love? Because of your swine looks
- 🐷 What did the pig say on Valentine’s? Don’t go bacon my heart
- 🐷 What’s a pig’s favorite pick-up line? Ham I yours?
- 🐷 Why do pigs always look happy? Because they have snout-standing charm
- 🐷 What do pigs sing at karaoke? “I Will Swine”
- 🐷 Why did the pig get rejected? Too much snort-splaining
- 🐷 Why did the pig sit alone? No one could handle his sizzle
- 🐷 What’s a pig’s favorite compliment? You’re sow fine
- 🐷 Why was the pig late? He lost track of swine
- 🐷 What do you call a pig who tells jokes? A real porkster
- 🐷 What’s the pig’s motto? Live, laugh, snort
Conclusion
If you love classic pig jokes, heroic one-legged pigs, or adorable guinea pigs, there’s humor here for every kind of animal lover.
These pig pick-up line jokes aren’t just funny—they’re clever, heartwarming, and oink-tastically charming.Share a laugh, save a snort, and spread the joy with your favorite pig pun today.
Remember, in a world full of chaos, sometimes all you need is a silly little pig joke to feel better.
