If you’re dishing it out at a roast battle, playfully jabbing your bestie, or just looking to bring the heat to your next group chat—these roast jokes are fire
From fearless one-liners to clever burns that cut deep (but make you laugh harder), we’ve gathered the ultimate collection of roasts that are bold, witty, and totally viral in 2025. Just remember:
it’s all in good fun… unless you can’t take the heat. 😉
A Good Roast Joke
- 😂 You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room
- 🤭 You’re like a cloud—when you disappear, it’s a beautiful day
- 😆 You have something on your chin… no, the third one down
- 😂 You have something on your face… oh wait, that’s just your face
- 😬 You’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, but hey, at least you’re in the shed
- 🫣 Your secrets are always safe with me—I never even listen
- 🤣 You’re like a software update—always annoying and never needed
- 😅 You’re the reason shampoo bottles have instructions
- 🤓 You have something in common with a broken pencil—pointless
- 🧠 Your brain is on vacation and forgot to send a postcard
- 😂 If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said, I’d be broke
- 🤯 You’re not completely useless… you can still serve as a bad example
- 🥴 Your mirror must be broken—it keeps lying to you
- 😹 You bring people together… so they can roast you as a group
Best Roast Joke
- 🤣 You’re the reason why they put directions on Pop-Tarts
- 😏 If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ
- 😂 You’re not ugly—you just have a face for radio
- 🥴 You have something special… it’s called low standards
- 😬 You’re proof that evolution can go in reverse
- 😆 You’re like a cloud—dense and always in the way
- 😩 You’re what happens when cousins marry
- 😅 Your family tree must be a cactus—full of pricks
- 🤢 Your voice makes onions cry
- 🤭 You bring nothing to the table… except complaints
- 😂 You’re like a web browser with 20 tabs open—confused, slow, and frozen
- 🤓 You act like you know everything, but that’s what makes you truly annoying
- 😹 You’re like a Netflix show—boring after five minutes
- 😵💫 You’re not even good at being bad
A Roast Joke
- 🤣 I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong
- 😂 You have something no one wants—your personality
- 😏 You’re like Monday—nobody likes you
- 🫣 Your Wi-Fi signal has better strength than your arguments
- 😆 You’re the human version of a typo
- 🥴 You couldn’t pour milk without making cereal sad
- 🤓 If you were any slower, you’d be in reverse
- 😹 You look like something I drew with my left hand
- 🤢 You’re like expired milk—no one wants to deal with you
- 😬 You’re a walking warning label
- 🤭 You have something on your shoulder… oh, it’s just bad decisions
- 😂 You’re the reason clowns have nightmares
- 🧠 Your thoughts have buffering issues
- 😵 You’re what happens when Photoshop crashes
- 🤣 You were born to be roasted
Kim Kardashian Roast Joke
- 💄 You’re more plastic than Barbie
- 👜 Your selfies have more makeup than a Broadway show
- 🤳 You put the “K” in “K-ontent overload”
- 😅 If I had a dollar for every filtered photo of yours, I’d be Kanye-rich
- 😂 Your reality show is more fiction than fantasy novels
- 🫣 You changed more faces than a makeup tutorial
- 🤓 Your personality is sponsored
- 🥴 You have more assistants than actual talents
- 💋 You’re the queen of filters—every snap is catfish
- 📸 Your camera roll needs therapy
- 👛 You turned being famous for nothing into a business model
- 😹 Your best acting was pretending to cry
- 🧠 You’re living proof that fame doesn’t require skills
- 😆 You make contouring look like witchcraft
- 🤢 Even your emojis wear makeup
Robert Kraft Roast Joke
- 🏈 You love football almost as much as you love… “spa days”
- 💼 You’re proof that age doesn’t equal wisdom
- 😂 You have more scandals than Super Bowl rings
- 🫣 Your massage receipts deserve their own trophy
- 😏 Even Brady couldn’t deflate your ego
- 🤢 You make the Patriots look innocent
- 😆 You love tight ends… on and off the field
- 😬 Your personal life is a penalty flag
- 🧠 You got caught more times than your team fumbled
- 😅 You’re the real reason for “instant replay”
- 🤣 Your reputation is like your suit—wrinkled and shady
- 🫠 Your wallet is heavier than your dignity
- 📸 TMZ loves you more than Belichick
- 😂 Even Deflategate has more credibility
- 😵 You’re one massage away from a Netflix documentary
Good Roasts That Hurt
- 😂 You bring people together… mostly to talk about how annoying you are.
- 🤦 Your secrets are safe with me. I never even listen when you tell them.
- 😏 You have something on your face… oh wait, that’s just your personality.
- 🥴 You have something most people don’t… bad vibes in HD.
- 🙃 You’re proof that even evolution takes breaks sometimes.
- 😬 Don’t worry, looks aren’t everything… in your case, they’re nothing.
- 🤷 You have two brain cells left… and they’re on airplane mode.
- 😑 You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room.
Good Roasts That Rhyme
- 🤭 You say you’re the best, but let’s be true—Wi-Fi signals last longer than you.
- 😂 You think you’re fire, but you’re just smoke—your life’s a setup, and you’re the joke.
- 🙃 You talk so much, you never rest—yet silence is when you’re at your best.
- 😏 Roses are red, violets are blue, Google’s got answers, but nothing for you.
- 🤦 You act like a king, but wear no crown—everyone claps when you’re not around.
- 😬 You flex so hard, but it’s all pretend—even your shadow won’t call you friend.
- 🤷 You brag too much, but can’t deliver—you’re like free Wi-Fi by the river.
- 😂 You think you’re sharp, but that’s absurd—my fridge light has brighter words.
Good Roasts That Hurt Clean
- 🤔 You’re like a cloud—when you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
- 🙃 I’d explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.
- 😂 You bring everyone down… like a bad Wi-Fi signal.
- 😏 Don’t worry, being forgettable is still a talent.
- 🤦 You’re living proof that even mistakes can stick around.
- 😬 You remind me of a software update—always there, never helpful.
- 😑 You have something in common with math homework—nobody wants to deal with you.
British Roast Joke
- ☕ You call that tea? Even your insults are weak
- 😂 You make fish and chips look boring
- 🫖 Your fashion sense is more outdated than the monarchy
- 😬 You’re the human version of Brexit—confusing and disappointing
- 🇬🇧 Even your humor needs subtitles
- 🥴 You roast like it’s tea time—mild and lukewarm
- 🤭 You put the “meh” in Westminster
- 😅 Your accent is the only charming thing about you
- 😆 You’ve got more drama than the Royal Family
- 📺 You belong on a canceled BBC sitcom
- 🧠 You’re not clever, just posh and loud
- 🫣 You’re like mushy peas—nobody asked for you
- 🤢 You have the personality of a scone—dry and crumbly
- 😂 If sarcasm was a sport, you’d still lose
Conclusion
Roast jokes walk the fine line between hilarious and fearless, making them the perfect tool to shock, charm, or challenge your friends—especially when turned into clever pick-up lines.
If you’re mocking a celeb, a buddy, or even yourself, remember that the best roasts are playful, not painful. Use them with wit, not malice, and you’ll always steal the spotlight.
I’m the mind behind Jokesattack.com, your go-to place for daily laughs, clever puns, and hilarious memes. Spreading smiles one joke at a time!
