999+ Funniest Santa Jokes for Kids and Adults Alike

Santa Joke season is here, and laughter is the gift that keeps on giving! If you’re roasting chestnuts or roasting your friends with festive puns, these Santa jokes are sure to sleigh your holiday mood.

From clean and clever to hilariously cheeky, we’ve unwrapped the funniest one-liners, puns, and gags to light up your Christmas spirit.

Perfect for kids, adults, family parties, or a spicy meme reply—get ready to ho-ho-howl with laughter!

Let’s dive in!

Dirty Santa Joke

😈 Santa slid down the wrong chimney last night… now Mrs. Claus wants a divorce
😏 I asked Santa for a naughty girl, he sent me his number
🍆 Mrs. Claus said Santa only comes once a year… no wonder she’s so grumpy
💦 Santa knows when you’ve been bad, and he likes it
🔥 My fireplace isn’t the only thing Santa’s lighting up tonight
🎅 Santa left more than presents under the tree last year
🥵 That wasn’t milk and cookies I left out—he chugged it anyway
🤶 Mrs. Claus caught Santa polishing his candy cane
🍑 Santa’s sleigh isn’t the only thing getting ridden this Christmas
❄️ Santa said he’s got something big in his sack—he wasn’t lying
🌶️ I got on the naughty list and Santa gave me a spanking
😜 He jingled more than bells last night
💋 Santa left lipstick on my mistletoe
🛷 His sleigh wasn’t the only thing sliding down my lane
🧁 Santa asked if I wanted frosting on my cupcake… and winked

Santa Joke for Kids

😂 What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause
🦌 Why did Santa name his dog “Frost”? Because Frost bites
🧣 Why is Santa so good at karate? He has a black belt
🎁 What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap
🧦 Why did Santa go to music school? To improve his “wrap” game
🧁 What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues
❄️ What kind of car does Santa drive? A sleigh-rolet
🕶️ What does Santa wear in the summer? A Claus-tume
🦴 What do you call Santa when he loses his pants? Saint Knickerless
🧠 How does Santa remember all the kids’ names? He uses his elf-a-dex
📚 Why did Santa go to school? To improve his “Ho-Ho-Homework”
🧲 What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses
🍩 What’s Santa’s favorite donut? A jingle ring
📦 What does Santa use to carry gifts? His sackpack
🎅 What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet

Funny Santa Jokes

Why did Santa go to music school? Because he wanted to improve his “wrap” skills! 🎁
What do you call Santa when he takes a break? Santa Pause! 🐾
Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? He had low “elf” esteem! 🧝
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house! 🏠
What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap music! 🎶
Why did Santa go to therapy? To deal with his Claus-trophobia! 😂
What do you call Santa when he acts up? Krisp Kringle! 🍪
Why was Santa’s little helper sad? He had low elf-confidence! 😢

Secret Santa Jokes

My Secret Santa gave me a candle… guess they think my personality stinks! 🕯️
Secret Santa is just organized re-gifting with extra steps! 🎅
I gave my Secret Santa a mirror — so they could see the best gift ever! 🪞
I told my Secret Santa I wanted something expensive… they got me onions! 🧅
Secret Santa: because HR said “bribery” was a bad word. 💼
My Secret Santa gift was socks — I guess I wasn’t “toe-tally” clear! 🧦
Secret Santa is like a lottery, except you always lose! 🎲
I got a gym membership for Secret Santa… guess someone’s hinting! 🏋️

Santa Funny Jokes

What do you call Santa when he loses his pants? Saint Knickerless! 👖
Why did Santa go on a diet? He wanted to keep his sleigh light! 🛷
How do elves clean Santa’s sleigh? With Santa-tizer! 🧴
What’s Santa’s favorite snack? Ho-ho-hos! 🍫
Why doesn’t Santa ever get sick? He has private elf care! 🏥
What’s Santa’s favorite pizza? Deep pan, crisp and even! 🍕
Why did Santa get kicked out of the karaoke bar? He kept saying “ho ho ho” off-beat! 🎤
How does Santa keep his suit wrinkle-free? Claus-starch! 👔

Bad Santa Jokes

What’s red, white, and falls down the chimney? Clumsy Claus! 😅
Santa tried yoga once… he couldn’t stop saying “ho-mmm.” 🧘
Santa’s favorite video game? SleighStation 5! 🎮
What does Santa use to measure presents? Santameters! 📏
Why did Santa fail art class? He couldn’t draw the line between naughty and nice! 🖍️
What do you call Santa’s reindeer that tell jokes? Comet-dians! 🦌
What did Santa say when his sleigh broke down? “Oh, deer!” 🦌
Why was Santa bad at math? He kept counting “Claus-trophobically.” ➕

Funny Jokes About Santa

Why does Santa go down chimneys? Because it soots him! 🏠
Santa’s favorite kind of tea? Claus-mint! 🍵
Why does Santa always smile? He knows where all the naughty people live! 😏
How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces? Logs it! 🪵
Why was Santa’s belt arrested? It held up a pair of pants! 👮
Santa’s favorite sport? North Pole vaulting! 🏃
Why did Santa cross the road? To deliver to the other side! 🚶
How does Santa stay cool in the summer? He goes to the “ice-cream pole!” 🍦

Tell Me a Santa Joke

😂 Why did Santa get kicked out of the mall? He kept calling women “ho ho ho”
🍽️ What does Santa eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes with a side of elf-made bacon
📱 Why doesn’t Santa use social media? He prefers sleigh-mail
🔔 Why did Santa bring a bell to class? He wanted to jingle all the way
🧹 Why did Santa hire a maid? Too many cookie crumbs
🥶 Why does Santa wear red? Because all the other colors were “elfed” up
🧪 Why did Santa take chemistry? To learn how to make snow blow
🥳 What’s Santa’s favorite party game? Sleigh charades
👓 Why does Santa wear glasses? To improve his “Ho Ho Focus”
🎤 What’s Santa’s rap name? Kris Kringle Bars
🌎 Why doesn’t Santa ever get lost? He uses North Star GPS
🛒 Why does Santa shop at discount stores? He’s on a sleigh-tight budget
🪩 What’s Santa’s dance move? The Reindeer Shuffle
🧁 Why does Santa love baking? Because he kneads the dough
🎥 What’s Santa’s favorite movie? Sleigh Hard

Secret Santa Joke

🤫 I gave my Secret Santa a GPS—now they won’t get lost in the office drama
🎉 My Secret Santa left me socks… again. Guess someone hates me
🧼 Gave my Secret Santa deodorant. Hope they get the hint
🧊 My gift from Secret Santa was so cold, I needed gloves to touch it
🧩 Got a puzzle from Secret Santa… my mental breakdown is now interactive
🧻 My Secret Santa got me toilet paper. 2020 flashbacks
🍵 I gave my Secret Santa tea… because I’m spilling it next
🪤 My Secret Santa gave me a mouse trap. Guess who’s the office rat?
🎵 Gave my Secret Santa a mixtape—aka Christmas carols I sang myself
🧦 Got socks again… Is this a Secret Santa or Sock Exchange?
🖼️ My Secret Santa framed a selfie. Merry narcissism!
🍪 Left cookies for my Secret Santa—came back bitten
🧽 My Secret Santa gifted me a sponge. Time to clean up my life?
🕯️ Got a scented candle labeled “smells like disappointment”
💌 My Secret Santa wrote “better luck next year” in the card

Funny Santa Joke

🦷 Why did Santa go to the dentist? To improve his “Ho-Ho-Holistic” smile
🎈 What do you call Santa after a diet? Slender Claus
🚫 Why doesn’t Santa go to the gym? Because he has sleigh bells
🪞 What’s Santa’s favorite mirror? The one with jingle filters
🎭 What does Santa use for disguises? An elfie stick
🧃 Why doesn’t Santa drink juice? Too pulpy for his beard
🥤 What do you get if you cross Santa with a soda? Fizzy Kringle
🧸 Why does Santa love teddy bears? They’re un-bear-ably cute
🐟 What’s Santa’s favorite fish? North Pole-ock
🪑 Why did Santa sit on a bean bag? Because his sleigh’s in the shop
📞 Why doesn’t Santa use a phone? He prefers reindeer calls
📺 What’s Santa’s favorite show? “Game of Cones”
🐐 Why did Santa get a pet goat? For Hoof Hoof Hooray
🧘 Why does Santa meditate? To manage reindeer stress
🎨 What’s Santa’s favorite art style? Sleigh-realism

Naughty Santa Joke

💄 Santa kissed mommy, then asked for her number
🧃 Santa said, “Sit on my lap and I’ll grant your Christmas wish”
😏 I asked for a silent night… Santa brought moans instead
🧼 Santa left body wash labeled “for dirty girls”
🥵 Santa unwrapped more than presents
🩲 I found Santa’s red undies in my stocking
🎁 Santa told me I’m his favorite package
🍷 Left out wine for Santa—he stayed for the afterparty
🛏️ Santa didn’t just come down the chimney
🫦 Found lipstick on Santa’s beard… not from Mrs. Claus
🪞 Santa winked and said “You’ve been real naughty this year”
👙 Santa’s elves weren’t the only thing he kept short and tight
🍫 I got chocolate… but not in a box
🧻 Santa said “unwrap me next”
🧣 Santa tied me up with a tinsel bow

Black Santa Joke

✨ Black Santa brings flavor with every ho-ho-ho
🕶️ Black Santa doesn’t ride reindeer—he rolls up in a Cadillac sleigh
🍗 Black Santa brings BBQ instead of cookies
🎤 Black Santa drops rhymes while dropping gifts
🎷 Black Santa plays jazz down the chimney
🕺 Black Santa moonwalks through the snow
💈 Black Santa trims his beard at the barbershop
👟 Black Santa wears Jordans, not boots
🔊 Black Santa bumps Christmas beats loud enough to shake ornaments
📿 Black Santa blesses you with vibes and gifts
🍉 Black Santa’s sleigh runs on soul food
🧢 Black Santa wears his hat sideways
🥁 Black Santa rolls up with a drumline, not sleigh bells
🕊️ Black Santa says “stay blessed” not “stay frosty”
🍑 Black Santa got buns for days and a sack that slaps

Dirty Santa Jokes for Referred

Why does Santa always come through the chimney? Because he knows how to make an entrance.
What do Mrs. Claus and Santa do after Christmas? They get naughty under the mistletoe.
Why did Santa go to adult school? To improve his ho-ho-homework.
Why does Santa like older women? Because he enjoys a little more “wrapping.”
What’s Santa’s favorite romantic activity? Sliding down the chimney nice and slow.
Why did Mrs. Claus give Santa a lump of coal? Because he was on the “naughty” list.
Why is Santa such a good lover? Because he always knows when you’re sleeping and when you’re awake.
What did Santa say after a wild Christmas party? “That sleigh ride was one heck of a night.”