Santa Joke season is here, and laughter is the gift that keeps on giving! If you’re roasting chestnuts or roasting your friends with festive puns, these Santa jokes are sure to sleigh your holiday mood.
From clean and clever to hilariously cheeky, we’ve unwrapped the funniest one-liners, puns, and gags to light up your Christmas spirit. Perfect for kids, adults, family parties, or a spicy meme reply—get ready to ho-ho-howl with laughter!
Dirty Santa Joke
- 😈 Santa slid down the wrong chimney last night… now Mrs. Claus wants a divorce
- 😏 I asked Santa for a naughty girl, he sent me his number
- 🍆 Mrs. Claus said Santa only comes once a year… no wonder she’s so grumpy
- 💦 Santa knows when you’ve been bad, and he likes it
- 🔥 My fireplace isn’t the only thing Santa’s lighting up tonight
- 🎅 Santa left more than presents under the tree last year
- 🥵 That wasn’t milk and cookies I left out—he chugged it anyway
- 🤶 Mrs. Claus caught Santa polishing his candy cane
- 🍑 Santa’s sleigh isn’t the only thing getting ridden this Christmas
- ❄️ Santa said he’s got something big in his sack—he wasn’t lying
- 🌶️ I got on the naughty list and Santa gave me a spanking
- 😜 He jingled more than bells last night
- 💋 Santa left lipstick on my mistletoe
- 🛷 His sleigh wasn’t the only thing sliding down my lane
- 🧁 Santa asked if I wanted frosting on my cupcake… and winked
Santa Joke for Kids
- 😂 What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause
- 🦌 Why did Santa name his dog “Frost”? Because Frost bites
- 🧣 Why is Santa so good at karate? He has a black belt
- 🎁 What’s Santa’s favorite type of music? Wrap
- 🧦 Why did Santa go to music school? To improve his “wrap” game
- 🧁 What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues
- ❄️ What kind of car does Santa drive? A sleigh-rolet
- 🕶️ What does Santa wear in the summer? A Claus-tume
- 🦴 What do you call Santa when he loses his pants? Saint Knickerless
- 🧠 How does Santa remember all the kids’ names? He uses his elf-a-dex
- 📚 Why did Santa go to school? To improve his “Ho-Ho-Homework”
- 🧲 What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses
- 🍩 What’s Santa’s favorite donut? A jingle ring
- 📦 What does Santa use to carry gifts? His sackpack
- 🎅 What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet
Tell Me a Santa Joke
- 😂 Why did Santa get kicked out of the mall? He kept calling women “ho ho ho”
- 🍽️ What does Santa eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes with a side of elf-made bacon
- 📱 Why doesn’t Santa use social media? He prefers sleigh-mail
- 🔔 Why did Santa bring a bell to class? He wanted to jingle all the way
- 🧹 Why did Santa hire a maid? Too many cookie crumbs
- 🥶 Why does Santa wear red? Because all the other colors were “elfed” up
- 🧪 Why did Santa take chemistry? To learn how to make snow blow
- 🥳 What’s Santa’s favorite party game? Sleigh charades
- 👓 Why does Santa wear glasses? To improve his “Ho Ho Focus”
- 🎤 What’s Santa’s rap name? Kris Kringle Bars
- 🌎 Why doesn’t Santa ever get lost? He uses North Star GPS
- 🛒 Why does Santa shop at discount stores? He’s on a sleigh-tight budget
- 🪩 What’s Santa’s dance move? The Reindeer Shuffle
- 🧁 Why does Santa love baking? Because he kneads the dough
- 🎥 What’s Santa’s favorite movie? Sleigh Hard
Secret Santa Joke
- 🤫 I gave my Secret Santa a GPS—now they won’t get lost in the office drama
- 🎉 My Secret Santa left me socks… again. Guess someone hates me
- 🧼 Gave my Secret Santa deodorant. Hope they get the hint
- 🧊 My gift from Secret Santa was so cold, I needed gloves to touch it
- 🧩 Got a puzzle from Secret Santa… my mental breakdown is now interactive
- 🧻 My Secret Santa got me toilet paper. 2020 flashbacks
- 🍵 I gave my Secret Santa tea… because I’m spilling it next
- 🪤 My Secret Santa gave me a mouse trap. Guess who’s the office rat?
- 🎵 Gave my Secret Santa a mixtape—aka Christmas carols I sang myself
- 🧦 Got socks again… Is this a Secret Santa or Sock Exchange?
- 🖼️ My Secret Santa framed a selfie. Merry narcissism!
- 🍪 Left cookies for my Secret Santa—came back bitten
- 🧽 My Secret Santa gifted me a sponge. Time to clean up my life?
- 🕯️ Got a scented candle labeled “smells like disappointment”
- 💌 My Secret Santa wrote “better luck next year” in the card
Funny Santa Joke
- 🦷 Why did Santa go to the dentist? To improve his “Ho-Ho-Holistic” smile
- 🎈 What do you call Santa after a diet? Slender Claus
- 🚫 Why doesn’t Santa go to the gym? Because he has sleigh bells
- 🪞 What’s Santa’s favorite mirror? The one with jingle filters
- 🎭 What does Santa use for disguises? An elfie stick
- 🧃 Why doesn’t Santa drink juice? Too pulpy for his beard
- 🥤 What do you get if you cross Santa with a soda? Fizzy Kringle
- 🧸 Why does Santa love teddy bears? They’re un-bear-ably cute
- 🐟 What’s Santa’s favorite fish? North Pole-ock
- 🪑 Why did Santa sit on a bean bag? Because his sleigh’s in the shop
- 📞 Why doesn’t Santa use a phone? He prefers reindeer calls
- 📺 What’s Santa’s favorite show? “Game of Cones”
- 🐐 Why did Santa get a pet goat? For Hoof Hoof Hooray
- 🧘 Why does Santa meditate? To manage reindeer stress
- 🎨 What’s Santa’s favorite art style? Sleigh-realism
Naughty Santa Joke
- 💄 Santa kissed mommy, then asked for her number
- 🧃 Santa said, “Sit on my lap and I’ll grant your Christmas wish”
- 😏 I asked for a silent night… Santa brought moans instead
- 🧼 Santa left body wash labeled “for dirty girls”
- 🥵 Santa unwrapped more than presents
- 🩲 I found Santa’s red undies in my stocking
- 🎁 Santa told me I’m his favorite package
- 🍷 Left out wine for Santa—he stayed for the afterparty
- 🛏️ Santa didn’t just come down the chimney
- 🫦 Found lipstick on Santa’s beard… not from Mrs. Claus
- 🪞 Santa winked and said “You’ve been real naughty this year”
- 👙 Santa’s elves weren’t the only thing he kept short and tight
- 🍫 I got chocolate… but not in a box
- 🧻 Santa said “unwrap me next”
- 🧣 Santa tied me up with a tinsel bow
Black Santa Joke
- ✨ Black Santa brings flavor with every ho-ho-ho
- 🕶️ Black Santa doesn’t ride reindeer—he rolls up in a Cadillac sleigh
- 🍗 Black Santa brings BBQ instead of cookies
- 🎤 Black Santa drops rhymes while dropping gifts
- 🎷 Black Santa plays jazz down the chimney
- 🕺 Black Santa moonwalks through the snow
- 💈 Black Santa trims his beard at the barbershop
- 👟 Black Santa wears Jordans, not boots
- 🔊 Black Santa bumps Christmas beats loud enough to shake ornaments
- 📿 Black Santa blesses you with vibes and gifts
- 🍉 Black Santa’s sleigh runs on soul food
- 🧢 Black Santa wears his hat sideways
- 🥁 Black Santa rolls up with a drumline, not sleigh bells
- 🕊️ Black Santa says “stay blessed” not “stay frosty”
- 🍑 Black Santa got buns for days and a sack that slaps
Adult Santa Joke
- 🥂 Santa said “Naughty or nice? I like a little of both”
- 🛏️ Found Santa tangled in my fairy lights
- 🍑 Santa checked twice and still asked for a third round
- 🎅 Santa’s red suit wasn’t the only thing coming off
- 🧦 I found stockings on the ceiling—guess Santa got creative
- 🍾 Santa popped more than champagne
- 💃 Santa brought mistletoe… for every room
- 🧃 Santa said he’s into “milk, cookies, and cuddles”
- 🛷 Santa took me for a sleigh ride—indoors
- 🪢 Santa tied a bow around himself and said, “unwrap me slowly”
- 🩰 Santa danced like he was on the naughty pole
- 🧴 Santa left body oil with a note: “For use under the tree”
- 🥴 Santa’s beard wasn’t the only thing fuzzy
- 🎤 Santa whispered “I’m your Christmas miracle”
- 📆 Santa said he only comes once a year—but he lied
Conclusion
If you’re being naughty, nice, or somewhere in between, these Santa jokes are the perfect way to sleigh your holiday humor game.
From giggles for kids to spicy jokes for adults, there’s a little something for every festive mood.
Spread cheer, share laughs, and let Santa deliver more than just presents this season!
