If you call it soccer or football, one thing’s for sure—it’s the world’s game and the world’s greatest source of laughs!
From goal-line gags to referee roasts, these jokes will have you dribbling… with laughter.
Perfect for fans, players, and even those who think “offside” is just a bad parking job, this collection is your ticket to nonstop fun on and off the pitch.
🧒 Soccer Joke for Kids
- 😂 Why did the soccer ball quit the team It was tired of being kicked around
- 😆 What’s a ghost’s favorite soccer position Ghoulkeeper
- 🤣 Why did the soccer player bring string to the game To tie the score
- 😂 What do you get when you cross a soccer player and a monster A goal-keeper
- 😄 Why did the soccer player sit on the sideline He was feeling a little offside
- 😂 What’s a soccer player’s favorite kind of tea Penal-tea
- 🤪 Why did the soccer player go to jail He shot the ball
- 😆 What’s a frog’s favorite soccer position Goalie
- 🤣 Why do soccer players do well in school They know how to use their heads
- 😄 What’s a cat’s favorite soccer position Purr-tector
- 😂 Why was the soccer field always wet The players kept dribbling
- 😆 Why did the soccer ball get invited to parties Because it’s always on a roll
- 🤣 What’s the hardest part of soccer Explaining it to your dog
- 😄 What do soccer players say before a meal Let’s kick off
- 😂 Why did the banana go to soccer practice Because it wanted to learn how to peel and pass
😂 Funny Soccer Joke
- 😆 I told my wife she was offside She gave me a red card
- 🤣 Why do soccer players hate playing cards Because the stakes are too high
- 😂 I kicked my alarm clock across the room this morning Guess I’m still practicing
- 😄 My soccer team’s bakery keeps getting red cards Too many turnovers
- 🤪 I asked the coach if I could play center He said maybe next life
- 😆 Why was the soccer team always losing They couldn’t get their kick together
- 😂 Referee walked into a bar Everyone booed instinctively
- 😄 I started a band called Yellow Card We’re always stopping play
- 🤣 Soccer players don’t do yoga They already master balance
- 😆 Why did the soccer player buy a ladder To reach the top of the league
- 😂 I wrote a joke about soccer But it got kicked out
- 🤪 They banned my soccer team from the farm Too many fouls
- 😄 Soccer is like math You need to know your angles
- 🤣 What do you call a team with a flat tire United
- 😆 I made a soccer joke once It didn’t have enough kick
👶 Kids Soccer Joke
- 😂 What kind of animal plays soccer A soccer-dile
- 😄 Why do soccer players never get hot They have lots of fans
- 🤪 What’s a soccer ball’s favorite game Kick the can
- 😂 What’s a skeleton’s favorite position Midfielder
- 😆 Why did the dog join the soccer team He had a great bark
- 🤣 What do soccer players do when they’re cold They sit on the bench
- 😂 Why did the chicken join the soccer team To prove it could cross the pitch
- 😄 What do you call a dinosaur that plays soccer A Soccersaurus
- 🤪 Why did the coach go to art school He wanted to draw up plays
- 😂 What do you call a fish who loves soccer A goalfish
- 😆 Why are soccer fields always green Because the grass is always goal-oriented
- 😄 What do soccer balls eat Nothing they’re full of air
- 😂 Why did the soccer player bring a pencil To draw a penalty
- 🤣 What do you call a robot who plays soccer A scorer-bot
- 😆 Why did the goalie bring a blanket To stop cold shots
🤔 Tell Me a Soccer Joke
- 😂 What do you call someone who steals soccer balls A goal thief
- 🤪 Why don’t soccer players tell secrets Too many whistleblowers
- 😄 What’s the difference between a referee and clouds They both bring rain
- 😂 Why was the soccer team kicked out of the restaurant Too many fouls
- 😆 What do soccer players do during class They shoot answers
- 🤣 What do you get when you mix a soccer ball with a phone A kick call
- 😂 Why do cows make great midfielders They always moo-ve
- 😄 What’s the best exercise for soccer players Kickboxing
- 🤪 Why was the grass so proud It got stepped on by champions
- 😂 What kind of car does a soccer player drive A goal-fie
- 😆 Why are soccer jokes the best They always score
- 😄 What’s a soccer player’s favorite type of music Hip-hop
- 🤣 Why did the player go to music school To learn how to play the field
- 😂 What do goalies eat for breakfast Anything with a block of cheese
- 🤪 Why are soccer balls so lazy Because they just roll with it
⚽ A Soccer Joke
- 😂 I used to be a soccer player But I couldn’t kick the habit
- 😄 The soccer ball and I have something in common We both get kicked around
- 🤪 I dreamt I scored a goal Then I woke up and hit the wall
- 😂 I told a soccer joke once It netted some laughs
- 😆 Soccer referees and magicians Both good at making things disappear
- 😂 My friend plays defense in soccer She’s really goal-oriented
- 😄 I started a soccer podcast But no one listens unless I kick things off
- 🤣 The soccer team went to space They were aiming for the stars
- 😆 Why did the soccer player sit in class He wanted to learn the playbook
- 😂 Soccer jokes don’t always hit the net But they’re still a kick
- 🤪 I asked the ball for advice It told me to roll with it
- 😄 I wrote a soccer joke on my cleats It’s sole comedy
- 😂 The soccer field has great reception Must be the goal posts
- 🤣 My dad’s a soccer coach He gives me goals
- 😆 I tried being the goalie But I kept letting things go
Conclusion
Soccer and humor are a winning combination! If you’re on the pitch or in the bleachers, a well-timed joke can bring smiles all around.
From light-hearted puns for kids to laugh-out-loud lines for adults, these soccer jokes are sure to score big with any audience.
Share them at your next match, and watch your fans roar with laughter!
