If you’ve seen a squirrel darting across the park or hoarding snacks like it’s Black Friday, these squirrel jokes are the ultimate treat.
Perfect for kids, adults, and anyone who loves a little woodland humor, our hand-picked punchlines are bursting with nutty goodness.
From fuzzy tails to acorn fails, you’re about to crack up like a peanut under pressure. Let’s scamper into the funniest squirrel content online today! 🐿️
🐾 How do you catch a squirrel joke

- 🐿️ You climb a tree and act like a nut
- 🌳 I tried to catch a squirrel once… turned out I was too shellfish
- 🧠 Act nutty and they’ll come running
- 🍂 I built a squirrel trap… it was just a mirror
- 🥜 Be loud, weird, and full of snacks
- 🐿️ Just offer them WiFi and a safe place to store acorns
- 🌰 Tell them you’ve got the biggest nut collection in town
- 🐿️ Wear brown, stand still, and hope for the best
- 🎯 Use a joke so bad, it stuns them
- 🕶️ Pretend you’re a squirrel therapist—they’ll stop to vent
- 🍁 Hide in a tree and make squirrel calls
- 🛸 Use alien tech—squirrels are smarter than they look
- 🔊 Just whisper “unattended bird feeder”
- 🎤 Sing a squirrel-themed love song under an oak tree
😂 Tell me a squirrel joke

- 🐿️ Why don’t squirrels get invited to parties? Because they’re nuts
- 🌳 Squirrel walks into a bar. Bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind—too squirrelly”
- 🍂 Why did the squirrel break up? Because he was acting a little nutty
- 🧹 Squirrels hate brooms… they’re always sweeping up their stash
- 🥜 I told a squirrel my secrets. Now they’re buried
- 🌰 What’s a squirrel’s favorite game? Hide and eek!
- 🐾 My squirrel therapist said I’m too anxious about my nuts
- 🎃 Why did the squirrel fail Halloween? Too squirrelly for the vampire look
- 🚪 What do squirrels say when they knock? Acorn-y joke alert!
- 🐿️ I made a squirrel laugh… he dropped his nut
- 🔩 What’s a squirrel’s favorite tool? The nut wrench
- 🐿️ What did the squirrel say after a date? “Wanna see my treehouse?”
- 🚀 Why did the squirrel join NASA? For the space nuts
- 🌲 Why don’t squirrels use elevators? They prefer the nutcase stairs
- 🧠 Squirrels have great memory… they forget everything except your embarrassing secrets
🐶 Two dogs and a squirrel joke

- 🐶 Two dogs saw a squirrel… instantly forgot their names
- 🐾 One barked, one ran, squirrel did a backflip
- 🦴 Dogs teamed up—still missed the squirrel
- 🐿️ Squirrel called them “leash kids” and vanished
- 🎾 Dogs debated politics… squirrel stole their ball
- 🌳 Dog: “I smell squirrel.” Other dog: “I am squirrel-curious”
- 🐕 Squirrel said, “Fetch this!” and dropped an acorn
- 🛋️ Dogs were on Zoom—squirrel photobombed
- 🐿️ Squirrel walked by… dogs started a rap battle
- 🥏 Squirrel bet them 5 bones they couldn’t catch him—still undefeated
- 🐾 One dog dreams of squirrels, the other writes poetry about them
- 🐶 Squirrel said, “Nice bark.” Dogs went silent
- 📺 Dogs watching TV… squirrel became their idol
- 🐿️ Dogs in therapy: “It’s always the squirrel’s fault”
- 🎮 They played fetch… squirrel hacked the game
🐿️Squirrel Nut Jokes

- 🐿️ Squirrels love nuts, but they also love a good laugh.
- 😂 These nutty jokes will crack you up.
- 🥜 Warning: may cause uncontrollable giggles.
- 🐿️ From trees to tails, squirrels bring the funny.
- 🌰 These jokes are nuttier than a squirrel’s pantry.
- 🤣 Perfect for anyone who goes a little nuts over humor.
- 🐿️ The funniest way to squirrel away some laughter.
- 🥜 You don’t need to crack a shell to enjoy these.
- 😂 Proof that even squirrels have stand-up potential.
- 🐿️ Giggles as quick as a squirrel crossing the road.
- 🌰 These puns are nut-toriously funny.
- 🤣 Jokes with tails almost as fluffy as squirrels.
- 🥜 Perfect for sharing with your nuttiest friends.
- 🐿️ Humor stashed away for winter laughs.
- 😂 Short, sweet, and a little nutty.
- 🌰 The crunchiest collection of jokes around.
- 🤣 Nuts and laughter go hand in hand.
- 🐿️ Jokes that are acorn-ucopia of fun.
- 🥜 More nuts, more fun, more laughs.
🧽 Spongebob squirrel joke

- 🐿️ Sandy Cheeks started a nut cult
- 🧽 SpongeBob: “I live in a pineapple,” Sandy: “That’s cute, I live in a dome”
- 🌊 Sandy tried underwater BBQ—ended in seaweed disaster
- 🐿️ Patrick asked if Sandy was made of sand
- 🔬 Sandy’s science fair: built an acorn that walks
- 🧪 SpongeBob accidentally cloned 99 squirrels
- 🥋 Sandy beat Squidward in karate—twice
- 🎸 Sandy wrote a country song about jellyfishing
- 🧽 SpongeBob asked Sandy on a date—got invited to lift weights
- 🐿️ Sandy said, “Don’t touch my helmet unless you want a nut slap”
- 🌵 She brought Texas to Bikini Bottom and a horse named Nutcracker
- 🧹 Sandy cleaned SpongeBob’s house with squirrel energy—fast and loud
- 🪙 Sandy ran a lemonade stand—took payment in acorns
- 🐾 SpongeBob wrote her a love note in sea foam
- 🧽 Sandy’s tail is the secret weapon against Plankton
🤣 Funny squirrel joke

- 🐿️ I taught my squirrel to play dead—now he’s an actor
- 🎭 Why did the squirrel win an Oscar? For best nut performance
- 🥜 My squirrel impersonates a cat to avoid taxes
- 🌰 I yelled “free WiFi” and five squirrels showed up
- 🐾 One squirrel started a podcast—called it “Nut Talk”
- 📱 My squirrel texts me memes
- 🧠 Squirrel outwitted me in chess… twice
- 🍿 I walked in on two squirrels watching Netflix
- 🪵 Squirrel rented out his tree—AirSquirrel
- 🎨 One squirrel started a modern art gallery—just scattered acorns
- 🧺 I left laundry outside—squirrels folded it
- 🐿️ Squirrel applied for a credit card—said “occupation: nut hunter”
- 🎤 I heard a squirrel do stand-up—funniest nut in town
- 🧋 My squirrel drinks iced coffee with oat milk
- 🎧 Squirrel DJs on weekends—calls himself DJ Nuttz
🥜 Deez nuts squirrel joke

- 🐿️ Guess who found deez? Deez nuts!
- 🌰 Squirrel said, “You lost deez?” and threw acorns
- 🧠 Brain full? Must be deez nuts
- 📦 Ordered a package… it was just deez nuts
- 🐿️ I asked for directions—squirrel said “Follow deez”
- 🎒 Backpack check: deez nuts every time
- 🐾 Tried to prank a squirrel—he reversed it with deez
- 🐿️ Squirrel asked if I wanted to see deez, I ran
- 🥜 Nut joke? Nah, it’s deez level comedy
- 🎮 Game over? Blame deez
- 🗂️ Squirrel’s resume: deez nuts certified
- 🐿️ He proposed—with a ring made of deez
- 🌰 Squirrel doesn’t pay rent—just throws deez around
- 📢 PSA: Don’t leave your deez unattended
- 🎭 Squirrel auditioned with a monologue about deez
Conclusion
Squirrel jokes bring endless joy whether you’re a pun enthusiast, animal lover, or just a fan of quirky humor.
From church pews to Bikini Bottom, squirrels find a way to sneak into every scene—and every punchline.
These pick-up line-style jokes prove one thing: squirrels aren’t just adorable; they’re comedy gold. So next time you hear a rustle in the trees, don’t just look up—crack a smile.