Feeling bold today? 😏 You’re not the only one searching for a laugh that’s a little wrong in all the right ways.
In 2025, Tell me a dirty joke has become the ultimate icebreaker — If you’re sliding into DMs, lighting up a group chat, or just spicing up your scroll.
But here’s the twist: not all dirty jokes are R-rated — some are just cleverly naughty, playfully wrong, and absolutely hilarious.
Ready to laugh, cringe, and maybe blush a little? Let’s get into it.
Tell Me a Dirty Joke Out Loud
- 😏 I like my coffee like I like my men—hot, strong, and able to keep me up all night.
- 🍑 You must be a magician because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears—along with my clothes.
- 💦 Are you a washing machine? Because I’d love to put a load in you.
- 🔥 Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’ve been searching for… in incognito mode.
- 🍆 Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te and kind of a dirty element.
- 😈 Do you like raisins? No? How about a date… and then some whipped cream?
- 🛏️ Are you a bed? Because I’ve been falling for you and I really want to lie down with you.
- 🌊 You make my tide rise without even touching me.
- 🍓 Are you strawberries dipped in chocolate? Because you’re messy, sweet, and I want you all over me.
- 🚿 You must be a shower, because every time I see you, I want to get wet.
- 🍌 Are you a peeled banana? Because you’re smooth, curvy, and just begging for attention.
- 🎢 Our chemistry is like a rollercoaster—fast, thrilling, and someone might scream.
- 🧼 Want to play house? I’ll be the dirty laundry.
- 🧯 You must be made of fire, because girl, you need to be handled with protection.
- 🕳️ Is that a black hole? Because I’m getting pulled into your gravity and it’s getting freaky.
Google Assistant Tell Me a Dirty Joke
- 🖥️ Are you Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a strong connection and I want to log into your private network.
- 🧁 You’re the dessert I never knew I needed… until you made everything sticky.
- 📡 Is your Bluetooth on? Because I feel like we’re already syncing.
- ⌨️ You must be a keyboard, because I’m pressing all the right buttons.
- 🔋 Are you a battery? Because you make me feel fully charged and ready to go all night.
- 📱 Can I call you tonight? Not with my phone… just my body.
- 💿 You spin me right round, like a record—dirty and classic.
- 🔒 You’re locked in my mind… and maybe tied up in my dreams.
- 💻 Let’s skip the download—I want to stream all night long.
- 🎧 Are those AirPods in, or are you just ignoring how hot I am?
- 📠 Let’s fax each other… but only if it involves body scans.
- 🖱️ Want to double-click my mouse? I promise it opens up all kinds of windows.
- 🧮 Are you binary code? Because I only need 0s and 1s to make you moan.
- 💾 I want to save you to my hard drive… permanently.
Tell Me a Dirty Joke Google
- 🍑 Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your clothes.
Your clothes who?
Your clothes would look better on my floor. - 🍫 You’re like Nutella—sweet, addictive, and I want to spread you.
- 🍕 Are you pizza? Because I want a piece of you… and I don’t mind if it gets a little greasy.
- 🍼 Are you milk? Because you make everything taste better.
- 🛁 You bring the bubbles, I’ll bring the rubber ducky.
- 🧀 Are you cheese? Because I want to melt all over you.
- 🧃 You look like a juice box, and I’m very thirsty.
- 🍔 Are you fast food? Because I want it quick, hot, and maybe a little messy.
- 🍿 You bring the popcorn, I’ll bring the heat.
- 🥩 Are you steak? Because I want to tenderize you.
- 🍶 You and I are like sake—better hot and shared.
- 🌮 Are you a taco? Because I want to stuff you with something spicy.
- 🥄 Let’s spoon… and then see where the fork it leads.
- 🍇 You must be a fruit salad, because I want to mix you up.
- 🍭 You’re like a lollipop… and I’ve got all day.
Can You Tell Me a Dirty Joke
- 🍯 I’m not Winnie the Pooh, but I’d love to get stuck in your honey jar.
- 🪵 Are you a log? Because I want to lay you down in the woods.
- 🌽 Are you corn? Because I want to shuck you and butter you up.
- 🐷 You must be a pig, because I’m ready to get dirty.
- 🧻 You bring the napkins—I’ll bring the mess.
- 🍖 Are you ribs? Because I want to lick you clean.
- 🪱 Are you a worm? Because you’ve burrowed into my naughty thoughts.
- 🧤 Let’s get hands-on—with protection, of course.
- 🧽 Are you a sponge? Because I want to soak you up.
- 🌪️ You blow me away… literally.
- 🥵 Are you heat? Because I’m getting all sweaty just thinking about you.
- 🛠️ Want to play handyman? I’ve got something that needs fixing.
- 🛎️ Ring my bell and I’ll come running—with zero clothes.
- 🧱 You’re solid… just like how I feel when I see you.
- 🏜️ Things are dry around here—come over and help me with that.
You Tell Me a Dirty Joke
- 🥫 Are you a can of whipped cream? Because I see dessert and foreplay in one.
- 🍳 Are you breakfast? Because I want you first thing in the morning.
- 🔑 I’ve got the key… just say the word and I’ll unlock everything.
- 🍷 You’re like wine—better with age and even better in bed.
- 🍜 You bring the noodles, I’ll bring the slurping.
- 🍤 Are you shrimp? Because I want to dip you in something hot.
- 🐚 You’re like the ocean—deep, salty, and full of mystery.
- 🧊 You bring the ice—I’ll bring the body heat.
- 🍯 I want to drip all over you like hot honey.
- 🧅 Let’s peel back the layers… slowly.
- 🧈 Are you butter? Because you’re melting me.
- 🥖 Let’s get this bread—preferably in bed.
- 🐄 Moo-ve over—I’m about to milk this situation.
- 🍩 You’re a snack—and I’m ready to go in for seconds.
- 🫖 Let’s steep things up and make it steamy.
Alexa Tell Me a Dirty Joke
- 🛏️ I don’t snore… but I do make the bed shake.
- 🎤 I’ve got a mic—want to come scream into it?
- 🔥 Alexa, play something hot—because things are about to heat up.
- 🐾 Let’s get primal—you and me, no rules.
- 🚪 Your door’s open… can I come in?
- 🧼 You bring the soap—I’ll bring the sin.
- 🧻 Let’s roll around like toilet paper—messy, but satisfying.
- 🔑 Let’s lock the door and lose the key.
- 🍿 Want to Netflix and get it on?
- 🧠 You turn me on… intellectually and physically.
- 🎬 Let’s make a movie—no script, just action.
- 🧦 You knock my socks off—and that’s just the beginning.
- 💃 You’re dancing through my mind… naked.
- 📞 Alexa, call the fire department—because you’re flaming hot.
- 🧯 I’ve got an extinguisher… for all this burning desire.
Tell Me a Dirty Joke Please
- 🍑 Pretty please… with whipped cream and handcuffs?
- 💄 You put the “O” in OMG.
- 🌶️ You’re spicy… and I want to taste every bite.
- 🍒 Pop goes the cherry—again.
- 🪞 Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the naughtiest of them all?
- 🕯️ Light a candle—let’s make the room smell like regret and satisfaction.
- 🛋️ Netflix is still asking if we’re watching. Spoiler: we’re not.
- 🐾 You’re making me purr—and I’m not even a cat.
- 🪩 Let’s get dirty on the dancefloor and even dirtier after.
- 🦴 Want a bone? I’ve got one to spare.
- 🍯 Let’s stick together—literally.
- 🍿 The only thing popping tonight will be buttons.
- 🎂 Want to blow out the candle… or something else?
- 🥶 You’re too cool—let me warm you up.
- 🧃 Let’s get juicy.
Conclusion
If you’re whispering to Alexa or boldly asking Google to “tell me a dirty joke,” we’ve got you covered with naughty, flirty fun.
These risqué pick-up lines are perfect for adding a little spice to your humor—just the right mix of clever and cheeky.
Go ahead, share one, break the ice, or just laugh out loud. Dirty jokes aren’t just jokes—they’re invitations for playful connection.
