Get ready to roll your eyes so hard they might not come back down. 😂 You asked for the worst joke ever, and trust us — this one delivers.
It’s awkward, it’s cringe, it might not even make sense… but somehow, it’s still kind of hilarious. In an age of viral memes and perfectly timed punchlines, there’s something weirdly comforting about a joke so bad, it loops back around to being funny.
Ready to groan, laugh, and question your taste in humor? Let’s dive into the beautifully terrible world of awful jokes!
Worst Joke Ever Told
- 😂 Why don’t skeletons fight each other They don’t have the guts
- 😵 What’s orange and sounds like a parrot A carrot
- 🙄 I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high She looked surprised
- 🤡 Why did the scarecrow win an award Because he was outstanding in his field
- 😬 What do you call fake spaghetti An impasta
- 😖 Want to hear something that’ll make you smile Your face muscles
- 🥴 Why was the math book sad It had too many problems
- 🤔 I used to play piano by ear Now I use my hands
- 😑 Parallel lines have so much in common It’s a shame they’ll never meet
- 🤢 I bought some shoes from a drug dealer I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day
- 😆 Did you hear about the kidnapping at school It’s fine he woke up
- 🙃 I told my computer I needed a break Now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads
- 😐 Why did the tomato turn red It saw the salad dressing
- 🤓 I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia She whispered they’re right behind you
- 😵💫 I accidentally swallowed a dictionary It gave me thesaurus throat ever
The Worst Joke Ever
- 😑 How do you organize a space party You planet
- 😴 Why did the coffee file a police report It got mugged
- 🤭 Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom Because the P is silent
- 🤡 What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet Supplies
- 😬 How does Moses make tea Hebrews it
- 🤢 I used to work in a shoe recycling shop It was sole-destroying
- 🫣 What did the ocean say to the shore Nothing it just waved
- 🙄 Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon Because she’ll let it go
- 😆 Why don’t some couples go to the gym Because some relationships don’t work out
- 🤓 What did one wall say to the other I’ll meet you at the corner
- 🤪 Did you hear about the circus fire It was in tents
- 😳 I gave all my dead batteries away Free of charge
- 😐 What’s brown and sticky A stick
- 🥴 I dreamed I was a muffler I woke up exhausted
- 😵 I asked the dog what’s two minus two He said nothing
R.E.M. The Worst Joke Ever
- 🎶 Why did R.E.M. stop making music They lost their religion
- 💤 What’s R.E.M.’s favorite type of joke Sleep puns
- 🤯 How many R.E.M. songs does it take to change a light bulb None it’s the end of the world as we know it
- 😴 Why did R.E.M. start a mattress business Because everybody hurts
- 🤷 Why don’t R.E.M. play hide and seek Because shiny happy people are too easy to find
- 🎧 Why did R.E.M. go to therapy Because the voices carry
- 🤓 What’s R.E.M.’s least favorite sport Wakeboarding
- 😬 What happens when R.E.M. makes coffee It’s losing my percolation
- 🤡 How do you know R.E.M. is at a party You feel fine
- 🥴 What does R.E.M. sing to ghosts Everybody haunts
- 🙄 R.E.M. tried gardening Once I found my rake
- 💤 What’s R.E.M.’s favorite lullaby Night swimming
- 😆 Why did R.E.M. get kicked out of the library Too many end-of-the-world jokes
- 😵💫 What did R.E.M. say when they saw the bill That’s me in the corner
- 🫠 Why did R.E.M. skip gym class Because they can’t stand losing
Jimmy Carr Worst Joke Ever
- 😂 I saw a sign that said Watch for children and I thought That sounds like a fair trade
- 🙃 The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades
- 😐 My dad always said laughter is the best medicine Which is why I guess so many of his patients died
- 🤡 I met this girl with 12 breasts Sounds strange dozen tit
- 🤔 My girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess So I married her off to a stranger for political gain
- 😬 I once dated a girl who had one leg shorter than the other I always had to step up
- 😵💫 They say never go to bed angry So I stay awake and plot
- 😆 I’ve got an EpiPen My friend gave it to me as he was dying It seemed very important to him
- 🙄 I bought a thesaurus and when I got home all the pages were blank I have no words to describe how angry I am
- 🤭 I asked a girl to meet me at the gym but she never showed I guess the two of us aren’t going to work out
- 😐 My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance We’ll see about that
- 😳 I bought a dog from a blacksmith As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door
- 🤓 I once went to a seafood disco I pulled a mussel
- 😬 I poured root beer into a square glass Now I just have beer
- 😅 My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli A strong currant pulled him in
Jimmy Carr’s Worst Joke Ever
- 🤡 My dad used to say always fight fire with fire That’s why he got kicked out of the fire brigade
- 😬 My wife and I were happy for 20 years Then we met
- 😐 You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo
- 😆 I haven’t talked to my wife in years I didn’t want to interrupt her
- 😂 I used to think I was indecisive But now I’m not too sure
- 🤯 Marriage is like a deck of cards In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond By the end you wish you had a club and a spade
- 🙄 Why do blind people hate skydiving It scares their dogs
- 🥴 My girlfriend left a note saying she couldn’t take it anymore I found it on top of the printer
- 😵💫 A friend told me onions are the only food that can make you cry So I threw a coconut at his face
- 🤡 I’ve got a joke about construction But I’m still working on it
- 😳 I was addicted to hokey pokey But I turned myself around
- 🤔 My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape That would be a big step forward
- 😬 I’m great at multitasking I can waste time be unproductive and procrastinate all at once
- 🫠 I’m not lazy I’m on energy-saving mode
- 😅 My boss told me to have a good day So I went home
Worst Joke Ever One Liners
- 🤢 I stayed up all night to see where the sun went Then it dawned on me
- 😆 I used to have a fear of hurdles But I got over it
- 🫣 I told my wife she was average She’s just mean
- 😐 I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory All I did was take a day off
- 😂 I know they say that money talks Mine just says goodbye
- 😬 I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed
- 🤡 I’d tell you a joke about an elevator But it’s an uplifting experience
- 🙃 I know a lot of jokes about retired people But none of them work
- 🤓 I gave away all my dead batteries Free of charge
- 😅 I got hit in the head with a can of soda Luckily it was a soft drink
- 😳 My friend’s bakery burned down Now his business is toast
- 😆 I used to be a banker But I lost interest
- 🫠 The rotation of the earth really makes my day
- 😂 My math teacher called me average How mean
- 🙄 I’m reading a book about anti-gravity It’s impossible to put down
Worst Joke Ever Clean
- 🧼 Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long Because then it would be a foot
- 🪥 What did the zero say to the eight Nice belt
- 🫣 Why did the chicken go to the séance To talk to the other side
- 🤓 What do you call a bear with no teeth A gummy bear
- 🤭 Why did the bicycle fall over It was two-tired
- 🤡 Why did the cookie go to the hospital Because it felt crummy
- 😬 What did one plate say to the other Lunch is on me
- 🙄 What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog Frostbite
- 😆 Why did the student eat his homework Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake
- 🥴 Why was the computer cold It left its Windows open
- 😂 What’s a cat’s favorite color Purr-ple
- 😐 What do you call a fish with no eyes Fsh
- 🫠 What did the big flower say to the little flower Hi bud
- 😵 Why was the belt arrested For holding up a pair of pants
- 😅 What do you call an alligator in a vest An investigator
Worst Joke Ever Gif
Since this is a text article, you can describe what you might see in the worst joke ever GIFs:
- 😆 A guy slipping on a banana peel with dramatic opera music
- 🤡 A cat trying to meow but sneezes instead
- 🙃 A person laughs, then instantly facepalms
- 😂 An awkward silence after a bad pun
- 🫣 Someone pressing “send” on a cringy dad joke
- 😐 Slow zoom on a person blinking in disappointment
- 😬 Laugh track over a painfully bad joke delivery
- 🧼 Clean jokes scrolling while crickets chirp
- 😅 Guy telling a bad joke and backing away slowly
- 😵 A person typing a joke, then deleting it
- 🥴 Audience booing with fake tomatoes
- 😆 Animated text that says Worst Joke Ever with sparkles
- 🙄 Baby looking confused after hearing a pun
- 🤡 Dancing clown meme after a failed joke
- 🤓 Guy with glasses trying to explain the punchline
Conclusion
The worst jokes ever are often the ones we remember most.They might make us cringe, groan, or laugh out of sheer absurdity.
If it’s a celebrity zinger, a clean dad joke, or a one-liner so bad it’s hilarious, these are the kind of jokes you share to make someone roll their eyes—with love.
So go ahead, embrace the terrible humor. Life’s too short for only good jokes!
